Birthday Suites in Ibiza

During the Buffington Barcelona visit, we traveled to the island of Ibiza for three days. Ibiza is a gorgrous little island off the coast of Spain. It’s infamously known as one of the craziest places to party in the world. It’s Vegas meets Cancun meets Hades. House music clubs rage until about 7:00 am only to be followed by “afterparties” that last the rest of the morning. Want binge drinking? Ibiza’s got it. Want durgs? Ibiza has plenty. Want nearly naked women letting go of all inhibitions? Ibiza specializes in it.

If you haven’t gotten the idea already, I’ll give you another example: Dennis Rodman hosted the closing party for one of the most popular clubs….I’m assuming that doesn’t need any further explanation.

You might be thinking, “Buffington family vacations normally include Mama Buff buying a 24 pack of beer for the entire weekend for 5 people to share…I can’t really picture them in Ibiza.” You’re absolutely correct.

The Ibiza party season runs from May through the first week of October. We went the Wednesday after closing weekend. Ibiza’s minister for tourism recently stated: “I would like [tourists] to visit the churches, the old town and maybe even enjoy outdoor activities such as birdwatching.” He clearly succeeded by bringing over the Buffingtons.

The three days were absolutely wonderful. Considering we went to a beach island in October, I was very nervous that we would have cold weather. Buffingtons do not lay on a beach if it’s below 78 degrees. We lucked out. We were greeted with three gorgeous beach days. We had to wait until about 1:00 pm, but the sun finally woke up from its weekend drug binge and gave us perfect beach weather.

The highlight of Ibiza was most definitely the second day on the island. After failing to convince Mom and Dad that we should rent vespas, the Buffingtons opted to rent a car in order to check out the various beaches on the island. We chatted with a less than friendly woman who set up a car for us. We assumed we would get some nice little sedan…Instead, we got a car designed for little people. Gary Buff actually didn’t fit. His knees hit the steering wheel. His head hit the roof. This Hot Wheels car was also parked in between two cars with about six inches to spare on either side. Watching us attempt to manuever the car (stick shift) out of the tiny space was clearly the mean woman’s prime source of entertainment.

An 18 point turn later, we finally made it out of the tiny spot.

Eventually we made it to the perfect beach cove. The sun was nice and toasty, the water was the perfect color turquoise, and we just about sprinted out of our ghetto Barbie mobile to get down to the water.

We were greeted by about 15 nude beach goers. Women topless is the norm in Barcelona, but I was not prepared to see stark naked. Our first sight is a family (mom, dad, and daughter) all holding hands walking out of the water NAKED. We smile and say hello pretending like our jaws didn’t just drop while we conveniently lay our towels a safe distance away. Since we were the only ones wearing bathing suits, everyone else was probably snickering at us too.

After getting over the initial shock of so much bare flesh, we make out into the perfectly clear Mediterranean. I spot a beautiful purple jellyfish peacefully swimming next to me.

Alright…I actually did yell an obscenity and quickly sprint as far away from it as possible while not accidently running into an old naked male body. But I did manage to take in its beauty first.

The next thing we know a naked German woman (beautiful, of course) scoops up the jellyfish in a plastic bag. She explained how her daughter was stung by one earlier in the summer and she was going to leave it on the beach to dry out. It wasn’t exactly a PETA friendly move, but I understod her logic.

What I didn’t understand was why she handed the plastic bag to her son and daughter (maybe around 8 and 6) who then proceeded to torture the animal. After poking it with sticks through the bag and then tossing it onto the rocks to suffocate, I started to question my obsession with Germans…maybe I hadn’t seen their true character until the jellyfish murder.

Nevertheless, the rest of the trip was wonderful. A man from Holland who looked like he belonged on Venice Beach (middle-aged, my color/length hair, leathery tan skin with a six pack) talked us into going to his tapas bar for dinner. They were the best tapas I’ve had yet.

We definitely had the Buffington friendly version of Ibiza.

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2 Responses to Birthday Suites in Ibiza

  1. Angie Buffington says:

    I love how you continue to refer to us as “The Buffingtons” as if you are not included in that. Lol.

  2. Sara says:

    OMG I am disturbed! I don’t know which distubes me most…. the torture of the jellyfish or the naked family swimming together… eweeeeee. You should have taken a picture of them. And how old was the daughter in that family?? Anyway, other than these few freaky moments the rest of the trip sounds wonderful and I want to gooo

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