Full Monty

Im sitting in a hammock, slightly swaying side-to-side, watching the sky change colors. Above me, the sky is a warm blue. Off to the lef, a deep pink signals the setting sun. The two colors meet in the middle right where the moon is rising.

The air is beginning to cool. There is no breeze, but I am perfectly comfortable in my shorts and tank. All sorts of birds chirp loudly, talking to one another it seems. In the background, the ocean waves crash rythmically onto the shore.

Im in Montezuma…or heaven. I cant be certain. Were staying in an incredible beach front room. At $15 each per night, the price is steep but the view is priceless. We also have a private room and bathroom. The room has two beds. We opt to use only one. In front of the room, hammocks hang. Perfect for taking an afternoon siesta, reading a book, or writing.

Just a few steps further is the beach. Clear blue waters meet the pebbly sand, with the lush jungle behind. I think it was designed for a postcard.

Yesterday morning, we hiked up to 3 incredible waterfalls. At the second one, water spilled out into a pool where there was a rope swing. I could have been mistaken for Tarzan with my rope swinging skill, grace, and leg hair.

There was a third waterfall beyond where we were, so after swimming for a bit, we continued on. We came across a bridge, which was tattered and dilapidated. We crossed without thinking twice. A few minutes deeper into the jungle, a second bridge. This one had fallen completely. We managed to climb around it. A few minutes later, another bridge. I crossed first and one of the planks broke beneath me. (too much pineapple?? never) Evi just avoided that plank and crossed without a problem. A few more minutes later, we reached the next bridge. It looked just as sturdy as the previous ones and had about a 30 ft drop below it…We turned around and went back.

You thought something cool was going to happen, didnt you?? Nope, just a budffy life lesson on using better judgement.

Later, we headed out to tortuga island for snorkleing. The island gets its name for the shape…no actual tortugas. The island could not have been more picture perfect. I didnt think there could be a more gorgeous beach in CR than Montezuma until we reached the island. Snorkeling was great. Saw lots of neat fish, an eel, and a sea cucumber. Quite different frmo the Cabo booze cruise where there were approximately 2 fish.

That night, Evi and I made our way to the local bar – Chicos. It was advertising Explosivo Dance with a huge banner across the main street. The banner stated, te esparamos (were waiting for you), which I obvioulsly took to mean me, in particular. Have you guys seen my dance moves??? Lots of robot and interprative style that keeps everyone laughing (at me) and ashamed to know me.

We met up with a few girls from our snorkeling group who were also excited to explode on the dance floor.

The dance didnt exactly meet expectations, just two extremely sweaty Tican couples salsa dancing flawlessly. I politely declined a request to dance…Not even buffy can handle that level of humiliation. Nor, did I want my sweaty body touching anyone elses.

Besdies the lack of exlposion dancing, the night was so much fun. Muchas imperials!! And we met our friend Ben, a Colombia law school grad who is now taking a job teaching law at Michigan state. He gave us plently of hilarious joke material. Ben was wearing khakis, dockers, a button up shirt (all the way buttoned) tucked into his pants with a belt. It was 5000 degrees with 200% humidity. Did I mention he makes Evi look tan??

Ben took our jokes well, and we even tried to hook him up with our friend from snorkeling – a 2nd grade teacher. Same thing as teaching law right?

I dont think it worked out great since she went to mingle with the locals. Poor Ben. Didnt get laid, but Evi and I laughed a lot and he bought us beer. Everyone wins when you hang out with Evi and me. Especially Evi and me.

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3 Responses to Full Monty

  1. Angie says:

    You failed to explain your blog title. I’m confused…

    • LeAnnBuff says:

      Full Monty? Just a little tactic of making you think I ended up naked somewhere. Keeps the fans interested. Duh. And Monty sounds like montezuma. Derrr

  2. mighty Joe 'Papa' of the Gods says:

    crossing iffy bridges one at a time= less weight and an undamaged partner should the pineapple hit the fan

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