Shit no one asks about but secretly wants to know

Whenever I read travel blogs or talk to friends who have travelled, I always want answers to the untalked about questions. When was the last time you shaved your legs? Is there toilet paper? On a scale of freshly washed baby to creepy man on the SD trolley, how bad do you smell? Sometimes the answers to these questions are far more interesting than someone’s super profound opinion on the Mona Lisa. Yeah, its small. She has no eyebrows. Any other genius revelation you would like to share with me today…

So if youre looking for new information on my love for the jungle or the Pura Vida lifestyle, wait for the next blog. Right now, lets get real.

Even though Ive showered most days, I still feel dirty…and look dirty. Since we’ve made our way to the beaches, its gotten better. But not much. Its hot and sweaty here. The hikes are extra muddy. My feet have permanent dirt stains. I cant even imagine what the nail salon people would whisper to each other if I tried to get a pedicure right now.

No, I havent shaved my legs once since Ive been here. Theyre far beyond the stage of prickly cactus and onto soft fur. Im hoping it protects me from mosquito bites (no luck so far).

As far as soap, I am using this ultra hippy stuff called Dr Bronners. Its an all-in-one soap for your face, body, hair, and even clothes. Its organic, biodegradable, and smells like lavender scented dread locks. The main ingredients are coconut oil and olive oil. You might be thinking, wow thats sounds really hydrating. It is, but not in a good way. My hair looks wet. All the time. Its so pretty. I finally caved and bought 2-in-1 shampoo. Talk about luxury!!

There are positives to my hygiene regimen. At home, I am all about lotion all over my body every day. I single handedly keep Curel Extra Moisturizing Body Lotion in business. Then theres also face wash, body wash, shampoo, conditioner, face moisurizer, makeup primer, etc., etc. The only beauty products I use now are soap, sunscreen, and bug spray. I havent gotten one pimple since Ive been here. Screw you fancy acne face wash. Also, my skin feels extra soft. Well, minus my wrinkly grandma hands. Those are lost cause with or without lotion.

Now lets talk about my sexy outfits and gear. Tevas, the sandals that strap all around your feet, are the most amazing invention ever. I try to wear them as much as possible. The have shock absorption! Most backpackers wear them and the ones without are fools. Tevas with leg hair is probably the ultimate seduction tactic. Everyone wants me.

I wear the same clothes most days, cargo shorts and tanks. And then there is my green and blue dress. The strap broke so I cut it into a skirt. Oh, and I have these realllly realllly sexy hiker underwear that are moisture wicking and sexual. It does great things for the shape of my butt. The only bra I have here, besides two sports bras, is my creepy lounge bra. If you have not heard about my obsession with my lounge bra, we arent really friends. Basically, I stole this pink cotton bra from Angie when she was in 8th grade. I wear it around the house. All the time. Best backpacker bra ever.

One great piece of advice I was given was to carry toilet paper because some places dont have any. This advice would be perfect if I managed to take the TP out of my giant pack in the hostel and put it into my day pack. Stranded in the jungle in Monteverde, it was just me and the V-Z index page of my Costa Rica travel book.

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12 Responses to Shit no one asks about but secretly wants to know

  1. hcmason86 says:

    You seriously only packed one bra? Why LeAnn why?
    It’s not like they are very heavy or take up a lot of space.

  2. Angie Pineda says:

    I think this rivals Oktoberfest for best blog post to date!

  3. mary says:

    Thanks for the updates. You are bringing joy to my day and great conversation when your mom,Julie and I get together.

  4. Sara says:

    Was there a decision process to determine which index page to use?
    Also, I remember our stuff smelled so bad (specifically Heather’s backpack) that the family we were staying with would put flowers on it when we were gone to try and mask the smell… didn’t really work but nice thought.

    • LeAnnBuff says:

      Umm just the last page in the book…and I didnt think I would need to find a zapateria in costa rica.

      Aww thats so nice of the family! I just dump all of my clothes out in the hostel to let them air out. Yum!

  5. Evelyn B says:

    Ditto Angie!! LOL! Loving the blogs LeAnn, sounds like an amazing trip so far!!

  6. Chelsea Mangel says:

    I read this at work and laughed at loud. people are staring. you are the best.

  7. mighty Joe 'Papa' of the Gods says:

    no comment

  8. Betânia says:

    just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that i have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. any way i’ll be subscribing to your feed and i hope you post again soon

  9. Mango says:

    I think this post was written with the specific aim of discussing all of my favorite things about you. cactus legs, granny hands, lounge bra, moisturized skin, pooping….you’re so beautiful.

  10. Deborah says:

    hello, that is a cool report! it gave me exactly the information i was looking for!!

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